“Baby Shopping” in Birthmom Support Groups

UPDATE: This is “Nicole and Mike’s” reaction to Claudia’s blog post. Classy people. I would DEFINITELY want them raising my child (note the sarcasm).

Physical threats?

They can BUY anything!!!

Published by Musings of the Lame. Original post can be found here.

By Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy

“Proactively” Advertising  for “Your Birthmother” is Tacky and Exploitative

While I am very aware that this is what the “adoption professionals” have told you to do this and that there areclasses and marketing people who say this is a good idea, I do find it morally repugnant.  And, I am not going to apologize for saying so.

So the other day I got wind that a hopeful adoptive parent was trying to infiltrate a birthmother and pregnancy  crisis group on Facebook , so I took a minute and looked at the Facebook page.   It annoyed me to see these folks from my state of New York  trolling for babies of Facebook, especially their desire for a newborn,  and so I posted about it;

 “I find trolling for potential birthmothers on Facebook to be oh so very tacky. Of COURSE you would like a womb fresh newborn for #adoption. Meanwhile there are 19,256 children in NYS foster care, 5,230 have a goal of adoption, and 1,146 are legally freed and waiting for an adoptive family. But Nicole and Mike looking to Adopt don’t want any of THOSE children that actually NEED a home. Better to try to find a women at risk and have her give her motherhood to them. yuck yuck yuck.”

Now, I actually don’t really care about the fact that “Nicole Mike” and her friends didn’t like being criticized for their actions. Truthfully, that is a chance you take when you do these things on in a public venue. When something is PUBLIC it means that others DO have the right to say something about your actions. I could have just talked bout you without linking at all to your page and that, actually would have been talking behind your back.  Instead you were given a wonderful opportunity to hear form the adoption community so you could better yourself.

The fact is that if Nicole Mike had bothered to pay attention to the other groups and pages that she was trying to get into, then I would not have  even noticed the page. If she had bothered to do a tiny bit of research and had at all respected the rules of the  adoption community that she is so desperate to be part of, then  I wouldn’t have had anything to say at all.  It was the blatant disrespect for the adoption community and the boundaries set that  called the attention of her actions and invited this discussion.

What is interesting however, is some of the responses and conversations that went on. It was a bit of a shit storm.  You can read the whole thread here, though the defenders of free advertising seemed to have taken their toys and left in a huff: