Tomorrow would be the final day to participate in the adoptee survey I have running that can be found here: Adoptee Survey by Musings of a Birthmom
However, with only 191 respondents, I feel that I need to extend it until I have at least 300 completed surveys. It is at this point that I would like to encourage you all to share this survey and fill it out if you have not done so already. Not many surveys like this exist and the results should be interesting.
Thank you!
Astrid
Musings of a Birthmom by Jennifer Wachowski 
It’s up to adopted people to take this into their own hands and we are. Not birth mothers. Thank you.
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I find that to be a mighty dismissive way of thinking, especially given that it was adoptees who asked me to create this survey and it was done with their input. If you don’t wish to participate, don’t. However, do not speak for all adoptees.
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I’d appreciate it if you kept your judgements to yourself.
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I’d appreciate it if you kept your negativity off my page. If you don’t want to be judged then don’t comment passive agressive crap. Or didn’t they teach you that in life coaching school?
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So is there a reason you’re the only one who gets to throw around judgments? If you don’t desire to participate in the survey, then don’t. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
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Oh dear, exactly why I don’t want someone like you speaking on my behalf. I wont be responding again, since you clearly take constructive feedback, so personally. Attacking adopted people in such a way, is certainly not the type of representation for adopted people I support.
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Where, precisely, was your feedback constructive? You jumped on her survey stating only that as a birthmother she isn’t allowed to survey how adopted persons feel. When in reality, how adopted persons feel is of utmost importance to birthmothers. It should be of utmost importance to adoptive parents as well, but sadly that isn’t the case.
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I’m not attacking “adopted people.” I’m responding to your attack on me. Lisa-Maree Botticelli, you are a self-proclaimed creativity “life coach” yet your anger towards birthmothers is an issue you seem to have not yet resolved. My work in the adoption community, and for adoptee rights, does not stop simply because I am a birthmother. In fact, it is this very fact about my life that leads me to do the work I do. I am not denied the right to speak for those who are wronged in society simply because I am not a member of their group, am I? Should those of other races not stand up for the minorities? Should straight people turn a blind eye against the plight of the LGBT community? Of course not. I have a special interest in the area of adoptees, yes. My daughter is an adoptee. And as long as people are asking me to be their voices, I will. Your blanket statements that imply my survey is not needed nor welcomed are unnecessary and are only representative of your opinions alone. You use your “life coach” wording to command me not to do something. I read between the lines. Just because you happen to be an “adopted person” does not automatically absolve you from wrong-doing or attempting to speak on behalf of everyone who also shares that status in their life. Your “constructive feedback” was an attack, not feedback.
“Constructive feedback is a tool that is used to build things up, not break things down. It lets the other person know that you are on their side. 1. If you can’t think of a constructive purpose for giving feedback, don’t give it at all.”
– https://www.cabrillo.edu/services/jobs/pdfs/giving-feedback.pdf
Perhaps you should look more into what “CONSTRUCTIVE feedback” really means. Especially if you are coaching people in their lives. I, most certainly, would not be comfortable with you directing me on how to lead my life if this is how you react to things that strike a chord with you.
But that’s a blog post for another day, Lisa 😉
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Once again, many judgements there. I am not attacking you personally and I appreciate the same response. Interesting, how you express your anger. It’s Lisa-Maree by the way, not Lisa. So please get your facts straight. Have a great day. 🙂
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“I’m a self-righteous bitch that can’t finish what I started and to keep control I have to find SOMETHING to correct (even though she used my full name the first time she mentioned it) but I like to sound like I’m a nice person so I’ll end my comment with some kind of patronizing comment like ‘have a nice day!’ and then continue to comment after I said I wouldn’t anymore.”
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Rofl. Lisa, your idiot is showing. You may want to tuck her back under your skirt.
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*snickers* Want some aloe vera for that burn? You my dear really don’t get what “Constructive criticism” is do you? No, you don’t, you came to this blog and flat out told the person who is writing it to not speak for adoptees. However, you don’t get to speak for all adoptees either, you can speak for yourself, and yourself alone. To continue to whinge and single out a natural mother for your “issues” is a bit ridiculous, and more than a little passive/aggresive. Now if you are truly done commenting, you go on and have a nice day!
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Lisa-Maree should learn comma placement, you look like a moron putting commas in the middle of sentences that don’t require them. Also, are you dizzy up there on your high horse? Seriously, your attitude is nauseating
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Hi Everyone, I really must apologise for my earlier comment. I hadn’t realised how it came across at the time. It’s really quite hard being adopted and going through life this way. I hope you can understand. I do think it was unneccesary to make such harsh comments in return though. Lisa-Maree
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While I know it took a lot to apologize, you have to understand why you were received the way you were and the reaction that followed. I appreciate the apology, Lisa-Maree.
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Not necessary? Do you not understand why the comments were made to you? You came here, and were judgmental and critical of mothers and tried to speak for all adoptees, and you don’t understand the comments made to you? Wow
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Also, it’s hard for mother’s to go through our lives like this too. This is why I stepped back from blogging and the reform world in general. Too much meanness and too much passive aggressive bs to deal with.
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I am sorry you are hurting Lisa-Maree ……
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