Who would have thought that I would become an adoptive mother? Certainly not me. Yes, you read that right. My husband and I are hopeful adoptive parents. We are anticipating, if all goes well, our adoption to finalize before the end of the year (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to us!)
Wait, before you think I’ve fallen off the crazy train, I have a confession. While we are most certainly adopting, it isn’t what you think. The person we are adopting is almost 22 years old, and we just happen to be her biological parents. Her birth certificate will be amended once again, this time in the state she was adopted in, but it will reflect the truth once more – that my husband is her father, and I am her mother, that we are the people who gave birth to her.
Now for the sad news. She will have 3 birth certificates now. The original, the first amended one, and now a new amended one. Our attorney was confident that in our state it would be an uphill battle and tens of thousands of dollars to challenge the established law and annul an adoption that our child did not consent to. There is a quirky law in our state that allows the restoration of an adoptee’s original birth certificate if both parents are listed, both parents consent, and the adoptee was not old enough to consent to the adoptive parents’ changing it at the time of the adoption. This would be ideal; however, because she was adopted in an entirely different state, it would be a lot more legal work, name changes, and asking judges in different states, a lot more money, and no guarantee it would work the way we want it to.
We have raised $220 in almost two days, and I could not be more appreciative of the donations and shares for our GoFundMe campaign. Even when you can’t afford to donate (these are some hard times, I get it), every share counts. I wish we could afford to pull $1500 out of thin air magically but, like I said, times are hard. I’m thankful for the roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and all the comforts of home, but there’s just no extra money at the moment.
“But why is this so urgent to do now then?”
Good question. While being restored to her original family is the main reason for this, there are other pressing concerns. Without divulging too much information, there is a need for health insurance that we cannot legally provide for our daughter without an adult adoption. Without health insurance, she cannot receive care she needs. There is also the concern that if she should become incapacitated in any way, her adoptive parents will be the ones calling the shots, while we have no say in the matter. While a POA or living will would help, it is not a guarantee that we would not have to battle in court over its validity. These are just a couple of reasons we are trying to get this completed as soon as possible. The attorney I spoke with seems to think if we started things this week then the adoption would be complete by the end of the year.
So, here I am, asking you to help me become an adoptive parent. Who would’ve thunk? You don’t have to donate to help, either. In fact, I don’t expect that most people would have the ability to and that’s completely fine. But, if you could share this post or share this fundraiser, that would be awesome. If you would rather donate some other way, you can do so using the following methods:
PayPal: @mizgeministarz
Venmo: @mizgeministarz
Cash App: $JohnWachowski
GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/3fb8ce87
Stay tuned for more updates!
Musings of a Birthmom: The Honest Ramblings of a First Mother 