A few months ago I decided to keep an email that I would use to write to IKL.  I thought I could then, later, give her the email address and log in and she would be able to read all the emails if she wanted.  I wish I had thought of it sooner since she is now 13 but I guess later is better than never.  The first two emails were a bit emotional and I poured my heart out.  I have since read that some adoptees fail to keep healthy relationships with their first mothers because of the guilt the first mothers felt.  It interfered with the relationship and made the adoptees themselves feel guilty.  I have decided that it is okay to pour out my emotions, but I think I’m also going to include emails as if I were writing to my friend.  About the things going on in my life.  Everyday stuff.  I’m hoping that is something she would like to have.  Hopefully, one day, I will have the opportunity to give this to her.

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