Abortion Vs. Adoption

*Disclaimer – This post will not argue whether abortion should be legal. This post has nothing to do with that. Instead, this post will assert the ludicrosity that adoption is an alternative to abortion.*

 

Have you seen those trendy pictures in “feel good” websites lately? Pictures of couples or families holding signs outside of an abortion clinic saying, “We’ll adopt your baby!” It’s enough to make me sick. Literally.

The myth is prominent, and it is perpetuated by a large majority of people in the world. In today’s era of social networking it is even more prevalent and the message spreads swiftly. The myth that adoption is an alternative to abortion has been around for a long time. I’m going to tell you why that’s wrong and what kind of message it is really sending.

Let’s start from the beginning. We will use two fictitious characters to visualize each example.

Meet Cindy. Cindy is a 21 year old single woman who is working two jobs to put herself through school. Her support system is pretty limited to her disabled mother. She has always been very pro-choice. Cindy has found herself pregnant after a one-night stand and failed birth control.

Meet Beth. Beth is a 22 year old woman engaged to her high school sweetheart. They live together and are planning on marrying in the fall. Beth currently works full time while her fiance is going to medical school full time. Money is tight. Beth has lots of family but comes from humble means. She is also very pro-life. Beth has found herself pregnant after failed birth control.

Neither Cindy or Beth feel they are at a place in their life where they would be able to provide for a child. Because Cindy is okay with abortion, and doesn’t feel ready to parent a child, she chooses to get an abortion and terminate the pregnancy. Because Beth believes that life begins at conception and would not be comfortable with getting an abortion, Beth starts investigating adoption.

Stop.

Did Cindy ever considered staying pregnant? Did Beth ever consider an abortion? No.

Cindy did not decide to stay pregnant so that she could give her child up for adoption because abortion solved the problem for her.

Beth did not look into an abortion because it goes against what she morally believes and she wouldn’t even consider an abortion.

Was Beth’s pregnancy ever at risk of being terminated? No.

Was Cindy’s pregnancy ever going to be carried to term? No.

So how is adoption the solution to abortion?

Women who think abortion is okay will get abortions when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Or they’ll decided they want to parent their baby and look at it as a happy surprise.

Women who don’t think abortion is okay won’t be getting abortions when faced with an unplanned pregnancy.

Abortion is a decision on whether or not to stay pregnant.

Adoption is a decision on whether or not to parent.

These are two totally separate issues and decisions that are made. Every woman, upon finding out she is pregnant, whether the pregnancy is planned or not, will make the decision, in regards to her pregnancy, of whether of not to continue the pregnancy. Sometimes these decisions are passive and assumed, other times they are pro-active. If she decides to continue her pregnancy, she will then decide whether or not to parent her child. Every woman. Like I said, maybe its a passive and assumed decision, but its a decision, nonetheless.

Will I decide to carry out my pregnancy? Yes? Proceed to question two. Will I decide to parent my child when it is born?

Standing Outside an Abortion Clinic Offering to Take Someone’s Baby

abortion

Source: REBRN

These are the photos that make me sick. These people are standing outside an abortion clinic holding a sign asking a woman to carry a baby for 9 months so that they can help themselves to her newborn once born. They are hailed as “heroes” when really they’re trolling for a womb-wet infant to call their own for their own selfish desires (well, one would assume. I don’t really know the people in this photo or their story).

Know what a real hero’s sign would say?

“I’ll help you and your baby.”

Isn’t THAT the Christian thing to do?

stephanie

Source: Public Facebook post

The above is from a post about abortion. Stephanie’s solution to someone finding themselves pregnant who literally could NOT be a parent? “ADOPTION!!!!!!!!!”

Why is that the first go to answer? The opposite of abortion is not adoption. The opposite of abortion is pregnancy. The opposite of adoption is parenting.

Let’s not forget that Stephanie (a proclaimed Christian) is quick to call someone a “hoe” and also includes a bit of slut shaming in there – “you made the choice to have sex knowing what could happen.” I guess we should all put our chastity belts on lest we incur Stephanie’s hoe-ly wrath.

What message are we sending to adoptees when they see this crap (and it’s all over)?

“Your mother could have aborted you.” And, yes, people actually tell adoptees this crud.

Well, guess what. Your mother could have aborted you, too – adopted or not.

In 2006 49% of pregnancies in the United States were UNPLANNED. Compare that to the statistic about adopted people. They make up less than 2% of the American population. Further proving that adoption is a decision about parenting and abortion is a decision about staying pregnant. You hear that? Half of you people out there could have been aborted and most of you WEREN’T adopted.

Standing outside an abortion clinic with signs saying you’ll take someone’s baby from them isn’t helping anything.

Help the mother, help the child. Not help yourself to the mother’s child.

For the record, I wanted IKL. I wanted to carry her, I wanted to parent her. I kept hoping and praying that by the time she was born something will had happened to make that possible. It didn’t. I made the decision to continue my pregnancy. And then circumstances forced me to make the decision to let her go.

I wish someone had been standing outside the adoption agency with a sign that said, “Let me help you and your baby!” Don’t see any protesters outside agencies, do you? Why is that?

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Adoption Is Exhausting

I’ve immersed myself in the world of adoption for the past couple of weeks. I wasn’t an active participant, but rather a (mostly) silent observer. Sometimes things were so enraging that I couldn’t help but comment. I looked at post after post in a couple of “Birthmom Support Groups” of several expectant mothers talking about how much adoption was going to hurt them but how they have to put those hurt feelings aside so their child can have a “better life” than what they can provide. I don’t even try anymore, sadly. The same old argument.

I watched one mother who desperately wanted her baby struggle to find a way to make that happen. I watched her reach out for help, when her parents wouldn’t let her come home with her baby, only for her friend to send her to a pastor who is also an adoptive father for “help.” The friend, who originally reached out for help realizing she was being coerced out of her baby by way of threats to be homeless, informed us that this mother would be “placing” after speaking with the adoptive father.

I watched a first mom talk about how she didn’t want her baby because he was the product of rape and if her adult child should ever want to know who his father was she had a “back up friend” willing to pretend for her so he didn’t get hurt.

I watched an adoptive mother who also had a biological child express her frustration that her adoptive son’s birthmother sends gifts and it’s not fair to her biological child. She wanted to split a recent monetary gift between the two kids because that would be “fair.”

I watched prospective adoptive parents in droves ask for money to fund their adoption, ask for ways to raise money, and then become offended when it’s suggested that they fundraise to help keep families together.

I watched adoptees who are hurting lash out at all birthmothers and a few even refusing to accept that many first moms truly had no choice. Even though they signed the papers, they had no way out.

I have watched and read and immersed myself in this world the past couple of weeks, and I’ve come to a few realizations.

The general public has no vested interest in caring about the trauma of family separation. They only see what they care to see. The picture that has been painted for them in movies and ads adoption agencies put out there. For the most part, the general public doesn’t even distinguish between domestic infant adoption and foster to adopt. It’s all the same to them. Google “adoption” and sift through pages and pages of pro-adoption websites that are, in one way or another, funded by agencies, adoptive parents, or anyone else that will financially benefit from adoption (such as facilitators or attorneys).

Adoptive parents are still focusing their energy on their insecurities, even if subconsciously, instead of what is truly healthy for the child. There are some adoptive parents that make a huge effort to put those insecurities aside, on a daily basis, but most still view their adopted children as their possessions and see birth parents as a threat.

Adoptees and first families are deeply hurt. They lash out at each other in a vicious cycle. Adoptee is hurt that mom gave them up, adoptee expresses anger towards birth parents, birth parents see anger and get hurt, birth parents express anger. The fact is, adoptees can never understand the situation that birth parents were put in. Birth parents can never understand that primal wound that has been inflicted. Adoption just sucks.

I didn’t want this post to see so dismal but it does. I just don’t understand why the industry voice is the loudest, the most important. They have the most money (off the backs of the babies they are profiting from) and most certainly use it to make sure the image of adoption that resides in the public’s head is a positive one.

There is hope, however. Adoptees grow, the Internet and technology make the world grow smaller, our voices become louder, and no one should ever underestimate the power of a grassroots effort by those who have been wronged on such a huge level. Even those with massive amounts of money.

Did you ever wonder why, during the baby scoop era, African American babies weren’t given up for adoption? For one, because of obvious racial motivation, black babies weren’t in demand by wealthy white couples looking to adopt. But even more important than that, because of slavery and the practice of separating children and babies from their families against their will, African American culture seriously frowned on adoption and, to an extent, the same holds true today.

Adoption is like slavery. A baby is forcefully taken from its parents. Yes, by force. Even if she says this is what she wants, even if she willingly signs, it is forced. Forced by circumstances, forced by the lies she has been fed about the guaranteed beautiful life, forced by a boyfriend or parent….pick one. The child’s heritage is legally erased, money is exchanged, and they are raised to feel indebted and grateful to their adoptive parents. Loyalty should always remain with their “real” parents, the ones who adopted them. For the rest of this child’s life, this is the struggle they will have. “Will I hurt my parents who raised me if I acknowledge my need to know my heritage?” They become an emotional hostage. Certainly not all adoptees will want to know their heritage and not all adoptive parents will raise their children to feel like this, but the majority do and will.

Why has this become so socially acceptable?

I’ll leave you with a screen shot of the cost break down from an adoption facilitator to purchase adopt a baby he is pimping advertising. You be the judge.

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The Sun and the Ghost

The following is a chapter from the book I am writing, “Whispers of Grace.”

The months following the relinquishment of IKL I had the same nightmare frequently. I still have this nightmare once in a great while. Most of the nightmares I have now are different but revolve around the same theme, saving my baby. This particular dream incorporates childhood trauma from abuse endured at the hands of my stepfather.

The Sun and the Ghost

I awaken on a table in the kitchen of my childhood home. The overhead light is swinging and the brightness radiating from it is making it difficult for me to orientate myself. I scramble off the table and squint my eyes to assess my surroundings. How did I get here? What is going on? Everything is stark and dusty as if life had not seen this place in many, many years. There are no pictures hanging on the walls, no rugs on the floor. There are no dishes in the sink or magnets on the refrigerator. There are no plants and this doesn’t surprise me as I cannot fathom how anything that is alive could sustain itself in this place. Everything is bare and the only furnishings are that of tables, chairs and a couch. Cobwebs hang in long strands from every corner. The walls look grey instead of the radiant cherry wood that I had remembered.

I suddenly hear a newborn baby crying in the distance. It sounds far away but I immediately recognize the cry as Grace’s. In response to her cry I hear thundering footsteps pounding above my head. Someone or something was chasing her! I began to run to prevent whatever stood behind those footsteps from getting her. My first instinct was to head up the staircase. As I reached the top I dropped to my knees at the sight before my eyes. I was no longer in my childhood home but in a maze of stairs like that in M.C. Escher’s “Relativity.” I could not give up, though. I had to find my baby. She was scared and something was trying to get her. As I headed up another round of stairs I turned the corner and saw the back of my stepfather’s head. He did not see that I was looking at him. As he turned his head, I could see a look of malevolence finished off with a wicked grin that showcased how much pleasure he was getting from the hunt. I could feel my heart drop into my stomach as I realized that this was the monster chasing my baby. He intended to do her great harm and I had to stop him. For one moment I hesitated and the fear that had been instilled in me since a very young age tried to take hold. It only lasted for a second. I remembered that I was not a child anymore. This man had no power over me and I would die before I let him find Grace.

I charged him. The evil grin became one of a businessman who was about to close the sale. His eyes lightened and he said, “Julia! How have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages!” I knew it was best to pretend that I wasn’t onto him so I managed small talk while creeping around to the other side of him. This only worked for a few seconds. When he realized my intentions he took pursuit of me and I ran. Suddenly I was outside of my body and watching myself as if this was a movie. Everything was in slow motion. My dark curly hair was bouncing in time to every step I took. My mouth hung open and my brow furrowed as I looked back and realized he was getting closer. He just kept smiling as if he knew it was inevitable that he would catch me. And all the while the baby keeps crying. It’s getting louder so I know I must be getting closer. I take staircase upon staircase and finally I see a door. There is a radiant white light coming from the space underneath it. Somehow I know if I can open this door then the monster will have to go away. The light is too dangerous for him to be in.

I grab the doorknob and pull. I immediately feel the warmth of the sun and hear the crashing of ocean waves. Grace’s crying is getting louder and as I look out into the distance I can see a tiny house floating hundreds of feet from the shore. I know that’s where she is and I know I have to save her. I run for the water and just as I submerge my head in my dive, I see sharks begin to tear the tiny house apart. I swim with all my might. The sharks are relentless and manage to turn the structure into a piece of driftwood and the only thing left is Grace on top of it. Instantaneously I am within arm’s reach of Grace and as I extend my hand she disappears. I panic and start screaming her name. As if in answer to this I can hear her crying from back on the shore. I look back and all I see is the beach, Grace and a door, standing alone. I think to myself, “That must be the door I came through.” Grace continues to wail as I make my way back to the shore. I have some peace in knowing she won’t drown but the urgency is still there. I just need to get to her as quick as possible. I keep swimming. It starts to get darker. As I look to the sky I see the beginning of a solar eclipse. Dread starts to build within me as I realize the only thing that kept my stepfather from going through that door was the sun. I quickly check the door and see it shaking. He is pounding on it and pretty soon he will be able to get through it. The sun is fading behind the moon. I swim faster. Saltwater goes inside my nose and burns. I cough, I swim. I made it back to shore just as the eclipse is complete and the door swings open. My stepfather’s eyes are now glowing red. We both run for Grace. I make it to her first. As soon as I swoop her up my stepfather turns to dust. The relief was immediate and I begin to move her blanket around searching for her face. I cannot seem to find any of her body within this nursery blanket. A new panic sets in as I realize she has also stopped crying. In desperation I start to flail the blanket about and then I realize that Grace is gone. I drop to my knees and sob.

PRESS RELEASE: Concerned United Birthparents Partners with Saving Our Sisters

sos banner 2

The vision of Saving Our Sisters, founded by Lynn Johansenn, that has garnered overwhelming support from the adoption community, is coming to fruition with the help of Concerned United Birthparents (otherwise known as “CUB”). I am happy to say that, as of today, Saving Our Sisters (otherwise known as “SOS”) is officially partnering with CUB. I am so excited about this new partnership and know that good things are in the future of the adoption community. I’m sure there will be many questions and this post is to help answer them.

How does this partnership change CUB’s vision?

It doesn’t. It enhances it.

CUB’s official mission statement:

“Concerned United Birthparents, Inc. provides support for all family members separated by adoption; resources to help prevent unnecessary family separations; education about the life-long impact on all who are affected by adoption; and advocates for fair and ethical adoption laws, policies, and practices.”

As you can see, SOS will help to enhance this mission. CUB has been, and will continue to do, wonderful work in the adoption community. SOS will provide concrete tools in the prevention of unnecessary family separations via adoption.

What changes are coming to SOS because of this partnership?

There are many things that will be changing, but so much is staying the same. SOS will now have the ability to keep organized in all facets such as accounting and the ability to easily collect tax-deductible donations via the web. Additionally, SOS will gain heavy exposure benefiting from the many relationships that CUB has been able to create, maintain, and evolve over the last nearly 40 years. Part of this exposure includes SOS being launched on the CUB website, whereas, in the past, SOS has had a limited Internet presence relying on Facebook and blog posts to keep members up to date. Because of CUB’s gracious partnership, SOS will be able to continue the great work we do, focusing on moms and families, without worrying about the technicalities of website maintenance, accounting, and other things. All of these things enable SOS to focus on preserving families.

NEW THINGS

There is now an official SOS membership. If you visit the CUB website and wish to join CUB as a member you will now see “Saving Our Sisters/CUB Membership” as an option. This will give you all of the same benefits and perks of an official CUB membership. The annual membership fee is $40 and, as CUB states, “By becoming a member, you add your voice to the chorus, which seeks to educate the public about the life-long effects of adoption on everyone in the triad. We welcome adopted individuals and their family members, adoptive parents and professionals. Your membership helps us host an annual retreat for learning, healing and drawing strength from one another, and produce our quarterly newsletter, the Communicator.”  We can now add, “Helping families stay together” as one of the perks of a CUB/SOS membership.

Because CUB has taken a huge leap of faith by partnering with SOS, we have to do our best to ensure, when at all possible, that those we come in contact with are aware that all of our members are volunteers and that we are experienced in dealing with the sensitive situations we encounter. Paid SOS members will soon have the choice to go through training and become official Sisters on the Ground or “SOG’s.” These are our “boots on the ground” people who vet new moms, face to face, and stay in contact with them as long as the mother requests while she is making strides to improving her own situation. . The most pertinent part of becoming an SOG is the implication of a “code of conduct” so that you and all members of CUB/SOS can rest assured that we are conducting ourselves ethically and respectfully while representing the CUB/SOS name and reputation. By agreeing to go through CUB/SOS training the risk becomes minimal for our organization which will allow us to keep our non-profit status and continue to help families for years to come.

Just as before, you are not required to become a paid member to donate money or items, refer moms to SOS or participate in other ways. We are all one big community and it is that sentiment that we want to hold onto. Without our donors we would not exist. Without our eyes and ears, that are all of you, we would not know where to find our moms. You are important. The membership is not to exclude anyone.

Online donations of monetary value will now go through the CUB website and you may be able to deduct your donations on your federal taxes. Be sure to indicate, while donating, that you will need a receipt. You should contact your tax adviser for clarification. SOS can also accept monetary donations, by USPS mail, straight to CUB. Just indicate it is a donation for SOS.

How to Donate Online Online

Visit the CUB website and click on the “DONATE” tab.  You will have the option to click on Saving Our Sisters to have 100% of your donation allocated to SOS.

In Summary

I know this all seems so technical. By organizing, dotting our “i’s” and crossing our “t’s” we assure that we can help as many families as possible and that no mistakes are made that would risk the organization altogether.

These last few years have given SOS valuable lessons on how to best help mothers and the varying situations they may be in. We have learned so much. We have made mistakes, we have trusted when we shouldn’t have. Everything that is happening today is a direct result from those very important lessons. We want to protect our community, our donors, our organization, and, of course, the families we are helping.

This is an exciting time for Saving Our Sisters and Concerned United Birthparents. Together we are a force to be reckoned with. Together we can change our culture, our society, and work to fulfill our mission statement, together. Please join us in this exciting endeavor!

If you wish to become an official SOS member, and have a possibility of becoming a Sister On the Ground, please click on this link: Cubirthparents Sign Up

If you wish to donate to SOS please click on this link: Donate to SOS

If you wish to be part of the discussion and/or offer support in other ways, please visit: SOS Facebook page

http://www.cubirthparents.org

http://facebook.com/adoptionSOS

**If you are reading this post on Musings of the Lame, it is a syndicated post. To visit the links please scroll to the top of the page and click on “Beemom” to see the original post with hyperlinks included.**

Adoption Romance and the Subtle and Pervasive Influence We Are All Subjected To

When us “older” birthmoms try to tell pregnant women, who are planning on giving up their babies, that they have fallen for the coercion of the industry, we are often faced with opposition. Whether that industry is agencies, attorneys, or the media, in general, they all seem to parrot the same types of statements.

“I’m not even working with an agency so how is it possible for them to coerce me?”

“I’m not being coerced, I made this decision before I even contacted an agency.”

“That’s not possible because I’m running the show and everything that is happening is because I want it to happen.”

When you tell them that their views on adoption have been shaped by the subtle messages being conveyed by the industry, they deny ever really thinking about adoption until they became pregnant. Even our media, it seems, has been charmed by the industry.

I’m sure, by now, you’ve all seen the photographs that were posted showing a happy adoptive couple with the new baby that was “delivered to them” via the stork. Yes, the stork. Their words, not mine. In fact, it was a “stork drop” adoption. This term is used in the adoption community to describe an adoption that occurs when the mom has made no earlier adoption plans. It varies slightly, how much background information is known about the mother and father of the baby in question. I’ve done some reading up on forums about how prospective adoptive parents feel about these type of adoptions. The general response seems to be “but what if I get a defective baby because I don’t know the background.” The Olson family, however, was okay with a stork drop adoption and that is how we all came to learn about their vague story.

This story went viral. This stork drop adoption with the perfectly staged and edited photos made to make adoption look like a fairy tale. I looked into the couple who adopted a bit. It seems that one of their sons (they have 2 biological sons) was born with Spina Bifida. Because they didn’t want to risk having another baby with birth defects they did not conceive again. But that’s now where their story stops. They just felt their family wasn’t “complete” without a third child because that had always been the plan. They never come outright and say it, but not only did they want to adopt so they could get a “perfect” child, it seems that only a girl would suffice. Although it seems to now be gone, as of yesterday their website included terminology for an expectant mother that eluded that they only wanted a girl. A final line said something like, “We can’t wait to adopt our little girl!” Additionally, a YouCaring page set up for them says, “Help David and Sarah complete their family and bring their little girl home!  Your contribution of any kind will help towards the costs involved with this process.” Only a girl would do, I guess. Sounds like they wanted the mail order perfect baby to me.

The Olson family isn’t the subject of my post, however. I am using their story as an example for the real point of this article. Their story went VIRAL. Their photos are being praised by the masses around the world. The photographer made them look like movie stars and she did a fantastic job of promoting domestic infant adoption as a fairy tale. In this case, though, a picture is not worth a thousand words. It’s the words the pictures stay silent about where my concern lies.

I wouldn’t doubt if millions of people have seen these photos and read this story. Nowhere is the birthmother mentioned, not even a specific thank you to her directly from the Olson’s. Her story or the stories of other birthmothers are not shared. Adoptee stories are not shared. The term “birthfather” isn’t mentioned at all. I can’t help but wonder if he is even aware he has a child or if his consent was even obtained ethically. Other adoptive parents are mentioned and how great they are. This story irresponsibly glorifies adoption. It is subconsciously influencing and coercing the decisions of many mothers and mothers that will come.

I ran across this in a birthmother support group:

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two

one

The first picture is her original post. First, I don’t even want to get into the psychology behind deciding on adoption when you’ve literally JUST found out you’re pregnant. I don’t think a decision like that should be rushed into so quickly. How could she have possibly done an adequate amount of research to come to that decision? Notice everyone encouraging her. Notice how she can’t wait to make some kind of an announcement and incorporate adoption. This is the hero complex of adoption. The way the media portrays things, the way the industry wants them to portray things, is that a birthmother is a hero and she is doing something so wonderful for other people who would otherwise not be able to do it for themselves. Only part of this is true. Someone else would not be able to do that for themselves. But, you see, this is part of the coercion of the industry in general. Become the hero of not only your OWN story, but the hero of someone else’s as well. Grant someone a wish!! Be that genie in a bottle! I’m sorry, baby’s are not presents to be gifted to other people.

Notice the comment from the original poster in the third picture. She wants to make an announcement about her choice of adoption with a stork. A stork. A stork. Let that sink in. Coincidentally this was posted just days after the news story about the Olson’s was released. Did their story have some sort of influence on her? Is she missing something in her life that she needs to fill? Does she need to place value on herself by going through with an adoption plan? Maybe millions of people will be praising her. And if they aren’t praising her specifically, she will fit into that “birthmom” club. Even if she hasn’t given birth. She has declared herself a birthmom. Certainly the thousands of comments on the articles and Facebook posts about the Olson’s would include her as well. “Birthmothers are so brave!” or “Birthmothers are so selfless!” This young woman has romanticized adoption. Why shouldn’t she? Everyone else is. Everyone else is ooohing and aaaahing and goozing over these viral photos. Why would she not want to be included in that to fill a void of value in her life?

Most women do not even publicly announce their pregnancy, save close family or friends, until they are safely past the date where miscarriage is still a risk. Typically this is 12 weeks. This woman is planning on not only announcing her pregnancy on Facebook well before that mark, she is also incorporating adoption into it. She’s not excited to announce her pregnancy (which would be understandable) she is excited to announce the adoption. I simply cannot understand how anyone would be excited about being pregnant and not being able to parent the child you were carrying. I wasn’t excited. I was sad. It wasn’t something I “couldn’t wait to announce.” Throughout my entire pregnancy I prayed for a miracle to happen before my daughter was born so that I wouldn’t have to go through with an adoption. I wasn’t excited.

The portrayals of adoption that make the headlines are mushy gushy adoptive parent gets what they wanted and all their dreams come true. It doesn’t show what happens to the other parties. It doesn’t show suicides, depression, self-harm, medical illnesses that could have been avoided if a solid medical record was available. It doesn’t show PTSD, sleepless nights, the hole in your heart, or the tears that flow – for  years and years and years. It is portrayed as a fairy tale. It has subtly and pervasively influenced the public opinion over years and years. But it is far from accurate. It is like a coercion that has happened to the majority of the public. It lives in everyone’s subconscious. It thrives there. Who needs an agency to coerce your opinions when the coercion has happened since you could see pictures and understand words.

Of course, this is not just the Olson’s fault. Their story is one. I have only used it as an example. We are bombarded with stories such as these, images such as these, day in and day out.

Some may ask, “Why shouldn’t we be encouraging young mothers to give up their children if they aren’t financially stable or married?”

To that I say, why do they deserve less to be a mother? Why do their children deserve less than to be raised within their biological family? What are you doing to help preserve these families and give women the tools they need to overcome their obstacles?

Babies are not blank slates. Mothers do not forget. Adoption isn’t a black and white photo.