Sincerely Yours No More

..pink bundle, perfect, beautiful, needing me, wanting me, all you need.. ..self-hating, worthless, lies I tell myself, that I believe, can’t see, truth.. ..society doesn’t want me        to be, judgment and words that cut me, help me cut you.. ..out of my life.. ..forever severed.. ..stranger in the crowd, faceless child of … Continue reading Sincerely Yours No More

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Our Mother’s Day Mosaic

How can one be a mother yet not a mother at the same time? How can one be a daughter yet an orphan all at once at never at all?  How can we walk that line of in-between and straddle both worlds of decadent joy and pure loss? . Mother's Day is complicated and almost … Continue reading Our Mother’s Day Mosaic

Dear Hoping to Adopt

I'm sure, by now, I'm loathed by most who have found themselves in my corner of the world wide Web via an innocent Google search about how to adopt a baby. That's okay. I get it. My writing is blunt and I don't mince words. I'd like to take some time, however, to speak directly … Continue reading Dear Hoping to Adopt

The Sun and the Ghost

The following is a chapter from the book I am writing, "Whispers of Grace." The months following the relinquishment of IKL I had the same nightmare frequently. I still have this nightmare once in a great while. Most of the nightmares I have now are different but revolve around the same theme, saving my baby. … Continue reading The Sun and the Ghost

“I Gave Her Loss” – Day One: NAAM

Today starts the first day of a dreadful month in my life. Wait, back up. I can't say it's entirely dreadful as it is the birth month of one of the most precious gifts - my child. However, I'm not entirely sure if I even have the right to call her my child. My heart … Continue reading “I Gave Her Loss” – Day One: NAAM