Sincerely Yours No More

..pink bundle, perfect, beautiful, needing me, wanting me, all you need.. ..self-hating, worthless, lies I tell myself, that I believe, can’t see, truth.. ..society doesn’t want me        to be, judgment and words that cut me, help me cut you.. ..out of my life.. ..forever severed.. ..stranger in the crowd, faceless child of … Continue reading Sincerely Yours No More

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Our Mother’s Day Mosaic

How can one be a mother yet not a mother at the same time? How can one be a daughter yet an orphan all at once at never at all?  How can we walk that line of in-between and straddle both worlds of decadent joy and pure loss? . Mother's Day is complicated and almost … Continue reading Our Mother’s Day Mosaic

I Can See the Horizon 

Sleep found me easily and peacefully. I usually suffer from insomnia and will lay awake for hours praying that slumber will come upon me. A peace I'd never known before washed over me as all of my children were under my roof in the same place at the same time. The people I value and … Continue reading I Can See the Horizon 

The Promise

I told myself I wouldn't cry. I didn't want to scare her. I didn't want her to think this stranger was emotionally unstable. Then I worried if I didn't let myself cry she'd think maybe I was emotionally inept.  I changed my shirt 3 times. I was about to change it a fourth time when … Continue reading The Promise

Short & Sweet

It's been some time since I've updated here at Musings of a Birthmom. This will be a short, sweet, personal update to explain my absence - for anyone who should care. My husband had back surgery about 3 weeks ago and his recovery was more than anticipated. He's required a heavy level of care-giving that … Continue reading Short & Sweet