Heart to Heart Adoptions; Andy and Melissa Moore; The Taking of Ja’Meka

Oh look.  How could it be? Another father’s rights being trampled on by a Utah adoption agency.  Who would have imagined?

Can you taste the sarcasm?

If this is your first time visiting the dark underbelly of the adoption Interwebs, you may not understand.  Utah is infamous for it’s unethical and immoral adoption laws that virtually give fathers zero rights to their child.  Often times, adoption agencies will move moms to Utah to deliver their babies if they know a father will not consent to an adoption or voluntarily terminate his own rights.  This is because it really takes an act of God to retain your rights as a father, in Utah, due to their archaic, unethical laws that continue to be practiced due to heavy lobbying from Utah adoption agencies such as Heart to Heart Adoptions.  No “pesky” father will get in the way of making that buck off that baby in Utah. Better believe it.

Some representatives in Utah have made attempts to change the laws but, alas, all were thwarted.  Why would anyone who profits off of adoption want to make it harder to get those babies?  In fact, a class action lawsuit was brought against the state of Utah due to their unconstitutional laws by twelve fathers.  It was, of course, dismissed. The whole state of Utah is corrupt to the very core when it comes to adoption and father’s rights.

Read about the father’s who initiated the federal class action lawsuit against Utah.

So it was really no surprise, unfortunately, when I heard about Johnny. 

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Johnny with his daughter, Ja’Meka, at the hosptial, when she was born.

Johnny is a father to a beautiful little girl named Ja’Meka that was born on October 18, 2016 in Georgia. Ja’Meka’s mom, while heavily medicated (having had a tubal ligation the previous day) and under duress, on October 19, 2016 was driven to two attorney’s offices by Bonnie Lin Hilton of Heart to Heart Adoptions based out of Utah.  The first attorney’s office was closed, due to being later in the business day.  The second attorney was open and it was there that Ja’Meka’s mom agreed to waive all her rights in the state of Georgia, in regards to her child and the adoption, and instead go by Utah law. She also terminated her parental rights.  Georgia law doesn’t have any waiting period to do this.  It can be done a minute after the baby is born. It was just Ja’Meka’s mom, Bonnie Lin Hilton, the attorney and a notary (Lucinda S. Hand) – signing away her rights while she was medicated recovering from giving birth and a major operation the day before. Let me say that again.  Ja’Meka’s mom signed legal documents that waived her rights and protections under Georgia law and terminated her parental rights to her child a day after giving birth and having a major operation while medicated on opiates. Bonnie Lin Hilton of Heart to Heart Adoptions in Utah arranged this.

Johnny was not aware this was transpiring.  Heart to Heart Adoptions claims that they weren’t aware of who the father was. This is a blatant lie, however. Johnny actually drove Mom to the hospital with labor pains was at the hospital!  There are pictures of him holding his daughter. Regardless, Putative (biological) father law in Georgia is found in Section 19-8-12 of the Georgia Code. This statute requires that a father be given notice and informed of pending adoption proceedings involving his child if one of following conditions is met.:  1.) If his identity is known. 2.) If he is registered on the putative father registry. 3.) If the court finds that the father has either (a) lived with the child, (b) contributed to the child’s support, (c) made attempts to legitimate the child or (d) provided support to the mother during the pregnancy.

Johnny’s identity was clearly known. Ja’Meka’s doctor even checked her vitals while in Johnny’s arms.  Johnny cared for Ja’Meka while her Mom was sedated from the tubal ligation.  While he was not yet on the putative father registry, he had made attempts to legitimize her and provided support to her mother during the pregnancy.  According to Georgia law, notice should have been given to Johnny that his child was attempting to be put up for adoption and he would then have thirty days to legitimize his child – a legal process in Georgia which gives a father rights to his child.

None of this was done and his child was gone the day after her birth.

While Ja’Meka’s mom was tricked into waiving her rights and protections under Georgia law, Johnny did not agree to waive his rights and protections and was very vocal that he did not want an adoption to take place.  His daughter was born in Georgia and all of his rights as well as Ja’Meka’s remain INTACT. 

As much as Heart to Heart Adoptions would like to try to ignore these facts.

That’s probably why Melissa and Andy Moore of Boise, Idaho are purportedly hiding out in Utah. They live in Idaho, have Ja’Meka, and can’t return home because their ICPC paperwork is not complete. They cannot get cleared.  They have not met the requirements to take this child from her home state of Georgia into Utah as prospective adoptive parents. Ja’Meka’s father’s rights were never terminated.  They remain intact.

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Andy and Melissa Moore, couple holding Ja’Meka illegally.

And just for fun, here’s Andy Moore’s grown daughter, Jessica Mawhiney, congratulating her stepmom and dad for procuring this infant. The post is now deleted or made private, as is Melissa’s Facebook profile.

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I guess when you unethically and illegally take someone else’s child you kinda have to hide. Andy’s profile, for now, is still active.

So who is behind Heart to Heart Adoptions?

Founded by Donna Pope and Mary Anne Holmoe, Heart to Heart Adoptions is a “smaller” agency in Sandy, Utah.  When looking at their form 990’s as a non-profit, it appears they don’t make too much of a profit at all.  In fact, they’ve claimed to be in the red for at least one year, losing money.  Now, I can’t say for sure, but Duncan Wright is a board member with Heart to Heart, according to their website and their taxes. I also found Duncan Wright as the owner of a non-profit in Sandy, Utah called “Rotary International.” It claims it has zero income and is a social welfare organization with an affiliation of being a subordinate in a group ruling. A quick Google search will bring you to this page, Sandy Rotary. When you go to the members page, Duncan is listed last and described as:

“Duncan Wright
Club Treasurer

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Duncan Wright has worked for Wells Fargo Bank since he graduated from Brigham Young University with a BA in Finance in August of 1985. He was a Branch Manager of several branches prior to working in his current position as a Relationship Manager in the Wells Fargo Business Banking Group. He has worked in his current position for 20 years. He has served as Chairman of the Board of the Sandy Chamber of Commerce and currently serves on the Chamber Finance Committee. He has served as the Sandy Rotary Club President and currently serves as the Club Treasurer. He is also a member of the Sandy Honorary Colonels.”

Marney DeVroom is also listed as the Chairman of Heart to Heart Adoptions.  She is also the founder and owner of Spectrum Academy in North Salt Lake City, Utah. According to their form 990’s they are doing a little better financially.  After salaries, expenses, and revenue, they profit just above $700,000 per year. What’s interesting about Spectrum Academy is, they have med182a366ical forms for their students on their website. This is a school that consists mainly of pupils on the Autism spectrum from grades K-12. A private, non-profit charter school.  Of about 36 forms for various different conditions, there is a pregnancy form. While that in and of itself isn’t TOO unusual, the wording at the beginning is.  And give that the founder, director and owner of Spectrum Academy is also the Chairman of an adoption agency, well, let’s just say skeptical cat is skeptical. As an afterthought, Marney is also some sort of counsel for oil companies.

 

The wording is:

“- Three-quarters of a million teens between 15 and 19 become pregnant each year.
– Very few teens who become mothers plan on doing so. Out of all teen pregnancies, 82% are unintended. Teen pregnancy accounts for 20% of all unplanned pregnancies annually.
– Two-thirds of teen pregnancies occur among teens 18-19 years old and teen mothers account for 11% of all births in the US.
– Out of all teen pregnancies, 57% end in birth. Another 14% end in miscarriage.
– Nearly a third of pregnant teenagers choose abortion.
– Black teens have the highest teen pregnancy rate.
– Teens who become pregnant are less likely to attend college
– US teen pregnancy rates are higher than those of other developed countries.
– Teen pregnancy rates declined between 1991 and 2005 but are on the rise again.

Statistically the obstetric hazards for adolescents and their infants include increased
mortality and morbidity rates. Health care priorities for the student include promoting the optimal physical / emotional well-being of the student, concern for fetal well-being, providing information and review of available options, assisting student in positive adaptation to new and changing roles, encouraging family / partner participation in problem-solving.”

This is on a page called “Pregnancy Care Plan” and asks for a medical release for Spectrum Academy to have access to any pregnant student’s medical records. Why would a pregnancy care plan have the above information stated? Why would a school need access to a student’s medical records. There is also a form for Asthma. My daughter has Asthma.  I have never once been asked to release her medical records for her school to have full access to at any time.

The medical release on the pregnancy care plan reads as follows:

“AUTHORIZATION / INFORMED CONSENT / MEDICAL RELEASE
1. I have reviewed and am in agreement with the Health Care Plan and I authorize school officials to provide my child with health care services in accordance with this plan. I understand that my student’s health information will need to be shared:
A. To benefit the student in terms of health maintenance and academic progress.
B. When necessary to accommodate the safety and well-being of student and staff.
C. With the discretion of the school nurse to determine what is shared and who should          know.
2. I understand that consent for sharing of health information will remain in effect as long as my student is enrolled in Spectrum Academy and may be revoked at any time in writing by parent / guardian.
3. I understand if clarification of the health information is needed, my signature authorized the school nurse to contact the medical provider and authorized the medical provider to release information.”

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Hmm.

Donna Pope, the President and Founder of Heart to Heart Adoptions. Let’s be clear.  She is not a licensed social worker.  She is a former respiratory care nurse. She is also the one who was engaging with Johnny in the comments section of his review on Facebook of Heart to Heart Adoptions (which has now been disabled). Heart to Heart does have an active license as an adoption agency that will expire, if not renewed, in 2017.

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Bonnie Lin Hilton, social worker that facilitated all of this. She does hold a current license in the state of Utah as a social worker. She does NOT hold a current Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) license for the state of Georgia – where she was conducting herself on behalf of Heart to Heart Adoptions. img_2038Her current license in Utah is an endorsement license.  In other words, she transferred her license from the state of Tennessee where she apparently worked for an organization called “Adoptions Plus” which I can find virtually no information about, besides the fact that her license as a social worker was tied to that organization and the address of that organization was 2211 Berrywood Dr., Knoxville, TN, 37932.  It wouldn’t be going out too far on a limb to assume that Bonnie may have been trying to run her own adoption agency but failed. hope-zettler Interestingly, Bonnie is also listed on the Heart to Heart Adoption agency website as Hope Zettler, LCSW.  I am stumped as to why this is.  But I think it further proves the deception of Heart to Heart. Was Bonnie Lin Hilton once going by Hope Zettler?
Appears that way on the website. For the record, I found no LCSW license for any Hope Zettler in Utah or Georgia.

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Last, but not least, when Johnny was pleading with them to return his baby, via the comments of his review on Facebook, Donna admitted that the paperwork of relinquishment was incorrect (possibly fraudulent as times were entered incorrectly – on purpose??) and was dismissive to Johnny.  She also either lied, or was unaware that Bonnie knew that Johnny was the father as he was clearly at the hospital. The exchange is painful to watch.

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Another man, Michael Ash, has a similar story to Johnny’s with Heart to Heart Adoptions. His daughter was also taken for adoption without his consent or permission using the same fraudulent and unethical practices that Utah and Heart to Heart are notorious for.  You can read his story here.

So where does Johnny stand?

I’d like to reveal our hand but I think it’s in the best interests of Ja’Meka and Johnny to keep that a secret.  The best thing you can do right now is to show your support of Johnny. A Facebook page has been set up to keep everyone up to date with what’s going on. He’s going to need all the support he can get.

Please head on over to BRING BABY JA’MEKA HOME and show your love  and support for Father’s Rights!

Finally, this is a message to Heart to Heart Adoptions, Donna Pope, Bonnie Hilton, Melissa Moore and Andy Moore.

This is NOT the story you want following you around. We will not stop.  We will not rest. Ja’Meka is Johnny’s daughter and she rightfully belongs with him. You cannot go to Idaho because you’re in violation of ICPC. No court is going to grant your adoption once they find out you have violated this. Furthermore, this is not your child. How are you going to look at yourselves in the mirror knowing you stole someone else’s child? How are you going to look that little girl in the face (if the rare rare chance that you actually get to keep her comes to be, which is doubtful) and say, “Oh, we ran with you. Your Dad wanted you but we wanted you more.”

Heart to Heart – you’re on my radar. You’re on a lot of people’s radars now. You’re business doesn’t seem to be going too well, either. I’m not sure how the IRS, and proper licensing authorities will feel about the dirty dealings you’ve been conducting. I highly suggest you get your stuff together and conduct legal and ethical adoptions instead of stealing other Father’s babies for profit by ignoring their rights.

To all of you involved with this serious miscarriage of justice – RETURN JA’MEKA TO HER FATHER.

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Mary, Did You Know?

While sitting around playing games on my phone the other day, my youngest daughter started to talk about her upcoming choir concert for school. She was excited to perform the songs they had learned and gave me a sneak peek of the upcoming show. When the preview was over she sighed and said, “Do you know what my favorite Christmas song is?” I didn’t so I told her so. She replied, “Mary, Did You Know?”

This surprised me a bit as it really isn’t a traditional Christmas song that a 13 year-old would like so much for it to be her favorite Christmas song.

Because of the upcoming Christmas holiday, I would like to incorporate this song into the message I am giving.

If this is not a song you are familiar with, you can listen to it HERE.

The lyrics (provided by Metro Lyrics) are:

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Mary did you know

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven’s perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you’re holding is the Great, I Am.

I understand that not everyone is a believer, and that’s okay. Since God’s name is invoked so often in the world of adoption, even non-believers would benefit from reading this post.

The historical story of the birth of Jesus Christ gives many clues as to the status of Mary and Joseph, in regards to society and financial means. While it is never stated that they are “poor,” there are a couple of verses that we can use to establish this. Every male that was born at that time had to be consecrated to the Lord. In order for this to happen, Mosiac law said that the mother of every newborn male would have to purchase and sacrifice a young lamb as a burnt offering and a turtle dove as a sin offering. Remember, this was before Jesus Christ had died on the cross making sacrifices like this unnecessary to wash away sin. This particular consecration was to wash away the sin and blood of childbirth.

Families that were too poor to purchase the lamb, were allowed to substitute the sacrifice with two turtle doves  or two young pigeons (Leviticus 12:8). When Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem to consecrate Jesus to the Lord, as the law required, it was with two turtle doves which implies that they were too poor to purchase the young lamb.

Before you point out that the three wise man brought gifts to Jesus of great value, I’ll just point out that there is nothing in the bible suggesting this poor, modest, family kept these gifts. In tradition with the way Jesus led his life, according to the Bible, I would go out on a limb and say it’s unlikely they did and would have been more likely to give these gifts away to those who were in need more than they were.

“It was God’s plan. The baby will have a better life.”

So, if God’s plan is for babies who were born out of wedlock, as Jesus was, to be put with family’s that have more financial means (meaning more opportunities for financial success later in life) then may I ask why Jesus was raised by Mary and Joseph? We’ve already established that they were a poor family and that Jesus was conceived while Mary and Joseph were not married. (I’m not arguing the virgin birth, just the fact that there were two unmarried parents). Did God mess up? Did he put the wrong baby in the wrong womb? Should Jesus have been placed in a more established woman’s womb who was married and able to afford the sacrificial young lamb that Mary could not? If He didn’t mess up, then was the plan for Jesus to be adopted by a wealthier family? No? Why is that? Is it possible that God’s perfect plan (not man’s) was that Jesus be born to and raised by the person who did give birth to him? Of course it was. Everything that followed the birth of Jesus – the miracles He performed, the people He helped, the charity He showed, the sacrifice He made for all of our souls – this was all a direct result of his upbringing. God knew that Mary was the perfect person to be Jesus’ mother. He knew that, with Mary, the prophecy would be fulfilled and it would be done. This poor craftsman, Joseph, and his wife, Mary, would raise Jesus in poverty to be The One who saved mankind from his own sins. It was with purpose, it was with careful planning, that God chose Mary.

In today’s world, Mary would have been encouraged to give Jesus up for adoption to a more financially stable two-parent home that could provide him with a college education (instead of a trade, most likely that of a blue-collar carpenter), fancy clothes (instead of meek cloths), the newest cell phone (instead of, well, I don’t know on that one), and a huge house with a meticulously landscaped yard (instead of a small hut with a desert for the backyard).  In fact, Nazareth, where Jesus was raised, was really on the “bad side” of town. It was one of the poorer communities of those days. Please picture the Savior, Himself, growing up in today’s world of luxuries and opportunities – not in Nazareth. We could call Him, Jesus of Beverly Hills. Think on that a second.

There is a parable in the Bible. It’s Jesus and the Rich Man.

Mark 10:17-31

New Living Translation (NLT)

The Rich Man

17 As Jesus was starting out on his way to Jerusalem, a man came running up to him, knelt down, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked. “Only God is truly good. 19 But to answer your question, you know the commandments: ‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. You must not cheat anyone. Honor your father and mother.’[a]

20 “Teacher,” the man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.”

21 Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

22 At this the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God!” 24 This amazed them. But Jesus said again, “Dear children, it is very hard[b] to enter the Kingdom of God. 25 In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”

26 The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked.

27 Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.”

28 Then Peter began to speak up. “We’ve given up everything to follow you,” he said.

29 “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, 30 will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life. 31 But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.[c]

  1. 10:19 Exod 20:12-16; Deut 5:16-20.
  2. 10:24 Some manuscripts read very hard for those who trust in riches.
  3. 10:31 Greek But many who are first will be last; and the last, first.

If Jesus had been Jesus of Beverly Hills instead of Jesus of Nazareth, it’s very likely this parable would never exist. The point of this parable is that, according to Jesus, being well-off, financially, really doesn’t mean much except a harder time getting into heaven. Yet, we have “Christians” preaching that adoption is God’s plan because a more “financially stable” family can provide a “better” life for a child. Which is it? It doesn’t go both ways.

Jesus, to me, proves that a life of humility, poverty, and love is the better life, eternally speaking.

Surely we don’t want children in abusive households or in homes where they would be subjected to neglect. This is not what I’m saying. What I am implying is that when financial reasons are the cause for a mother to sacrifice the motherhood to her child, my advice to those wishing to take advantage of her poor financial situation is that they should – “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Mary, did you know? Did you know that your baby boy, the one who would be raised in your small home, with little financial means, no college education, on the wrong side of town, would be the Savior of the world? Did you know that it is because of these things that this prophecy would come to be fulfilled? Did you know that God did not put the wrong baby in the wrong belly, that it was all part of his divine plan? Mary, did you know that, in today’s world, his name would be invoked to cause pain and suffering for mother’s being separated from their children for the very reasons that He chose you to be the mother of the Savior? Mary, do you weep?

You – do you know? Do you know what your child was intended to be? Do you know what the Lord has planned for him or her? Do you dare to question the motives of God? Did He make a mistake? Was your baby intended for another? Why did God not put that baby in the womb of that woman? Did God want you to suffer the loss of your child? No. This is man’s plan, not God’s plan.

Have you ever read the Bible, you who claims that it is God’s plan for you to adopt someone else’s child, at birth, because they are in a financial hardship? Have you seen chapter upon chapter of so-and-so begot so-and-so? It’s very obvious that biology, heritage, and ancestry was extremely important to God. Why else is this all in the Bible? And Moses, the great example always given for adoption, was not “gifted” to any particular couple. He was sent downstream by a terrified mother who wanted to save his life. And, in God’s infinite wisdom, Moses’ mother became his wet nurse and the person who cared for him. It was Moses who destroyed the people (think his adoptive people) who suppressed his true people, his biological roots, his family. And then he returned home. This is the true story of Moses. A baby “adopted” only because his life would have ended if he hadn’t been. A man who returned home to his people, when all was said and done. God’s infinitely wise plan.

Did you know?

Get Baby Kaylee Home to Her Daddy; Miranda and Brad Larsen, Return Kaylee to Her Father

I had decided to spend the majority of this month in a hole, in la la land, safely away from triggering things about adoption. Unfortunately, thanks to some truly horrendous actions of two people, I have decided to not just crawl out of that hole, but to jump out guns-a-blazing.

Just before heading out for work this morning I was made aware of yet another adoption injustice coming from Utah. Go figure, Utah – no way! Surprise, surprise! If you’d like to read more about the back story to this situation, please see the Facebook page Get Baby Kaylee Home to Her Daddy.

Here’s the run down –

Colby and his girlfriend were expecting a baby and expecting to parent together. However, his girlfriend’s parents had other things in mind. After bringing the baby home from the hospital, his girlfriend, somehow, some way, decided (after talking to her parents) that she wanted to put the baby up for adoption. She told Colby of these wishes and he insisted on parenting and did just that, for a couple of weeks, until law enforcement came and removed the baby to be given to Miranda & Brad Larsen.

Miranda and Brad both knew that Kaylee’s father didn’t want to give her up. His name is on her birth certificate and paternity has been established. However, as those well-versed in adoption laws know, Utah plays by its own rules and, essentially, gives fathers next to nothing as far as father’s rights are concerned.

This didn’t seem to bother Miranda and Brad in the least. They wanted the baby and they made sure they got the baby. Who cares about if I’m taking someone else’s child against their will who NEVER CONSENTED TO AN ADOPTION, right? In my opinion, Miranda and Brad Larsen represent all that is evil in the world of adoption. Ethics thrown out the window to fulfill their selfish desires.

Upon doing some minor digging, you can see that, at least, Miranda has been “child shopping” for a some time.

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This was a post from this past February about an older child seeking a forever family. Miranda was tagged in it by a friend or family member and her reply is, “Seriously, Serenity (last name omitted)? Now I have to pray about it and ask Dad (name of dad tagged and omitted here). Ask Dad? That’s odd. This seems like something you would say if you were a child considering getting a puppy. “Ugh, thanks for showing me the cute little puppy who needs a home!! Now I have to pray about it and get permission from Dad!! LOL!” At least that’s how it reads to me.

Here is Miranda and Brad’s adoption.com profile:

http://adoption.com/profiles/BradandMirandaLarsen31711-3527

I’m sure that it will soon be taken down so here are a few screen shots for your viewing pleasure.

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“Congratulations on your adoption!!” Suck it adoption.com

This should read, “Congratulations on kidnapping someone else’s child!”

But seriously, isn’t that what they just did? They legally kidnapped someone else’s child because of the unconstitutional laws that allow Utah to get away with this crap. Not only unconstitutional, but a clear violation of civil rights – the right to parent one’s own child!

Within hours of this story getting out, there are thousand’s of likes on the Facebook page created for Colby’s fight, and thousands of dollars for his legal fees have been raised. Within hours of this story getting out, Miranda and Brad deactivated their Facebook profiles (one can only guess why) and created new ones – that aren’t so super secret and will probably be deactivated shortly as well.

Brad appears to be the assistant principal of Thomas Edison Charter School. Do you have your children enrolled here? Will you still continue to support a school that employees someone who would steal someone else’s child? Just throwing that out there.

As you can see, the public is not happy:

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Not quite sure I agree with the “great people” analysis on these two.

So, there it is. Pretty simple. In black in white. Just because they could, they did. Without any true concern with the true and real father of this child.

But Colby is fighting back. He has retained a fantastic lawyer, Wes Hutchins. Sadly, I do expect this to be a long drawn out battle, like they all are. His legal fees will surely be insurmountable. To donate directly to Colby’s legal fund you can mail donations to:

Wesley D. Hutchins

Attorney

6751 South Adventure Way

West Jordan, Utah  84081

If you’re more comfortable donating online there is a GoFundMe set up and you can visit that page here: https://www.gofundme.com/g8b7btmk?rcid=5cad896b96a54b1181f69a8f8c110407

Where does this leave us? I am calling on ALL ethical adoptive families to speak out against this injustice. This puts a smear on ALL of you if you sit back and say nothing, allow it to happen. No matter what you think of me and my blog, if you sit back and say nothing, you are just as bad as them.

I am calling on everyone in the adoption community to rally around this father and give him the love, support, and guidance he will surely need in the coming months. If you are able to donate monetarily that is always helpful as well, but it is not required to be an integral part of his journey. Share his page, share this post, lend an ear, offer support, just do something.

I am absolutely sick and tired of seeing these stories. What has our world come to? In the United States of America, babies are being taken from their parents with no just cause because someone else wants them. How long do we allow this to continue before we rise up, as a nation, and say NO MORE! How long before we go down that slippery slope and YOUR child is next? Or your grandchild? Or your niece or nephew?

injustice

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” -Desmond Tutu

To the Larsen family,

I am begging you to do the right thing, the ethical thing. Maybe you had a momentary lapse of sanity. You CAN redeem yourself and reunite this father with his daughter. You have the power to do so. It doesn’t need to drag out in court for months or years. I have complete confidence that it will not end in your favor so you are only delaying the inevitable. Please return Kaylee to her father. Restore my faith in humanity. Restore my faith, please.

I’ll leave you with a post from my blog that deals with how God feels about situations like this. Seeing as the Larsens appear to be deeply religious people of the LDS faith.

A Tale of Two Women and a Wise and Blessed King

Two women came before King Solomon. Both had given birth on the same day, three days before, but the first woman’s baby had died. Now the women were fighting over the living baby. King Solomon decided that the best way to figure out who would keep the child was to tell the women the baby would be cut in half. One half of the child would go to the first woman, and one half would go to the second woman. The true mother of the baby, the birth mother, cried out to the King. She would relinquish her rights to her child, to save his life. King Solomon, who is often referred to as the wisest man who ever lived because God blessed him with unsurpassed wisdom, saw the passion of the birth mother, and he did the right thing. He gave the baby to his own mother, the one with the selfless love, the one that would rather surrender her baby than see him die. King Solomon had no intention of hurting the baby. He had no intention of giving the baby to the more “deserving” parent. He just wanted to identify the true mother of the child. The woman who gave birth to the baby. It was a clever ploy.

When I think about recent cases in the media I can’t help but think of the shocking similarities with King Solomon’s story. You have two women, one is the true mother of the child, one woman is so desperate for a baby that she is willing to steal the child of another, no matter the consequences to the child, or the child’s true mother. I wonder if King Solomon thought about what kind of mother a woman who steals another person’s child would make? Maybe that’s part of the reason he wanted to be absolutely certain he was returning the child to his mother, and not the crazed woman who attempted to kidnap the child.

The Bible does speak favorably on adoption. Think of baby Moses in his basket, (Exodus 2: 1-10) swept down the river, and adopted by the Pharaoh’s daughter. He obviously went on to do amazing things in the name of God and eventually returned to his natural family, the family of his origin. Esther, (Book of Esther) who was adopted by her cousin, was also a tool of God. But in almost every circumstance of ordained adoption in the Bible, there was a life or death situation that led to the adoption. Moses’ mother faced the reality that her son would die if she didn’t send him away. Esther was an orphan. Both of her parents were dead. God still chose to keep her in her family, and she was adopted by her cousin. The Bible only shows support for adoption of true orphans, or in the case of extreme circumstance. You will find infertile women in the Bible, (Hannah and Sarah are two examples.) but nowhere in either of their stories does God tell them to take the baby of another woman, let alone forcefully take a baby from its mother.

Adoption is a wonderful way for a child, an orphan in genuine need, to find a loving home. It should not be used as a tool to separate a child from the loving embrace of his mother.

It’s very clear how God feels about children. When the disciples tried to prevent women from bringing their babies and small children to Jesus, he grew angry and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Mathew 19:14, emphasis added.) He did not leave until he laid hands on the children. He takes especial interest in the fatherless child and defenseless women. Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.”

Job laments the truly wicked, and part of his description of the behavior of a damnable person is, “The fatherless child is snatched from the breast; the infant of the poor is seized for a debt.” (Job 24:9) Someone who would take a defenseless, fatherless child from the breast of his mother, in exchange for money owed is listed as one of the many horrible and evil things a person might do to deserve punishment from God. He also mentions people who “drive away the orphan’s donkey and take the widow’s ox in pledge. They thrust the needy from the path and force all the poor of the land into hiding.” (Job 24:3-4) Clearly bullying and harassing single women and their young children, the meek and defenseless, is considered a detestable act. Other comparable sins he mentions in the same chapter are theft, murder, and adultery.

And how does God handle those who harm children? Those who would steal a child from its family? Exodus 21:16 says, “He who kidnaps a man, whether he sells him or he is found in his possession, shall surely be put to death.” How much harder will the Lord come down on someone who would kidnap one of his fatherless children?

Proverbs 127:3-5 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”  If the mother wants her child, and she is fit, what right does another woman have to pilfer the blessings given to someone by God for their own selfish desires? When considering the plight of women coerced into signing away their parental rights you need to ask yourself, “How would King Solomon rule in these cases?”

 

For the Fathers

For the fathers who were never made aware they had a child, this one’s for you.

For the fathers who fought like hell to keep their children but the adoption industry won out, this one’s for you.

For the fathers who felt they had no other choice, this one’s for you.

For the fathers who were tricked, coerced, or lied to, this one’s for you.

For the fathers who were accused of horrible things so that the industry could obtain your child, this one’s for you.

For the fathers who are still fighting a David & Goliath battle, this one’s for you.

For the fathers who are about to embark down the path of hell but don’t know it yet, this one’s for you.

To the overlooked, under-represented, swept under the rug fathers out there, I see you. I hear you. Happy Father’s Day. This one’s for you.

Guilt, Coercion, Threats – A New Mom Changes Her Mind – SOS In Action

UPDATE: Almost $1100 was raised for Clara in less than 24 hours! You are all amazing!!

As some of you may know, we are in the process of legitimizing our grassroots organization called Saving Our Sisters (SOS). The goal of SOS is to help vulnerable women avoid adoption relinquishment. Over the past couple of years the organization’s brain child and front-runner, Lynn Johansenn, has helped dozens of women, that had decided to utilize adoption, to keep their babies and successfully parent. SOS offers whatever support is needed to achieve this. Sometimes the support is emotional, sometimes financial, and sometimes legal. Most people who have been helping with this are members of the adoption community themselves. They include birth/first/natural mothers, adoptees, and even a couple of adoptive parents. When the alarm call is sounded, this vast network of people contributes to what is needed and we always end up with enough for the new mom.

Initially, when hearing about an expectant mother who is set on an adoption “plan,” she is approached gently and given the encouragement she needs to know she is worthy of parenting her child and that SOS will do whatever it takes to make that possible. Each reason that a mother has to contemplate adoption is systematically removed with our wonderful network of donors and volunteers. Some harsh realities about the possibilities (probabilities?) in adoption are taught and then the ball is in her court. She is left with contact information, if she declines help at that time, if she changes her mind after the birth of the baby.

If a mother contacts us and needs help we will immediately send out a local contact to be by her side. This contact will go through the needs and even speak on her behalf to the adoption agency, attorney, or prospective adoptive parents so there need not be any awkward moments. We literally do anything we need to do to make the change of mind as easy as possible for the new mother.

More often than not, after the mother has changed her mind and the prospective adoptive parents have been informed, a series of harassment and coercion, coming from selfish people who will do anything to get their hands on the baby they think they have been “promised,” ensues. Prospective adoptive parents, in general, seem to think they are more worthy and more deserving of someone else’s child and will pull out all stops to coerce her, even threaten her, into signing over her rights.

I would like to introduce you to Clara’s* story. Clara is a young mother in Kansas who was expecting a baby within days. Help and information were offered to her. She originally declined but, after the birth of her baby, changed her mind and reached out for help.

Clara had already picked out prospective adoptive parents and was in the process of beginning a private (non-agency) adoption. Since there was no agency the prospective adoptive’s parents’ attorney was pretty much running the legal show. I have no information about how she came about picking this couple or if she was coerced during her pregnancy. I can only speculate. What I do know about Clara is this: She is a hard-working, frugal, single mother who does a kick ass job as a mother. She manages to provide with very little and does damn good with it. She is smart, level-headed, and loving. The father of the baby she just delivered ran out on her with another woman. He wanted nothing to do with the new baby. Clara’s story is so familiar. I’ve heard it time and time again. Are these ideal circumstances to bring a child into the world? Well, no, not really. Does that mean it’s impossible to successfully parent this child? Absolutely not. I’m sure Clara could think of family members or friends that would be willing to be a positive male role model in her child’s life. After deciding to parent she had an outpouring of support from family, friends and her community. Bottom line is this, Clara is worthy of parenting her child and her child is worthy of staying in his original family, of keeping that family intact. When this is a possibility it should always be this way. Adoption should always and only be a last resort.

I’ve discussed coercion, guilt trips, and all sorts of other fun stuff that goes on behind the scenes in adoption land. I often hear new birthmoms say “that doesn’t happen anymore” or “that didn’t happen to me.” Let this stand as a testament that it does indeed still happen, and often. Ask yourself how your child’s adoptive parents would have behaved if you changed your mind?

I did, indeed, make an adoption plan for my youngest daughter (the daughter that was born after my relinquished daughter). I asked the adoptive parents of IKL to adopt her. I changed my mind. When they learned of this change of mind they said, “You will never see IKL again.” Visits were stopped. That was 12 years ago. I have not seen her since. Initially they tried to talk me into giving the baby up. Telling me how it would be selfless and I would be giving her all sorts of things that she wouldn’t get with me. When that didn’t work they resorted to threats. Threatening to take IKL out of my life. When I didn’t relent they made good on their promise.

Meet Becky, prospective adoptive parent. This is her text message to Clara after learning she had changed her mind.

Screen shot number one.

Screen shot number one.

Screen shot number two.

Screen shot number two.

Guilt and coercion. “Look how upset we are. Please still consider adoption. We can give your baby what you can’t. We are more deserving. We’ll let you pick the middle name! See how great and open we are!” That is the message I’m getting from this text message. Notice she mentions Tom. This is the father of the baby. She is using Clara’s fear of a court battle (which she knows full and well would never really get to the point of “fighting” just based on custody laws) with Tom to attempt to sway her into handing over her baby. Pretty disgusting. But it get’s better.

Screen shot number three.

Screen shot number three.

When Becky’s attempt to coerce and scare Clara didn’t work, she resorted to having her sister text message Clara. More guilt. She even goes so far to call her selfish for parenting her child. Do these people not understand this baby is not and never was theirs? This is just more of the same, trying to get her to sign over rights via guilt and making her feel like a bad person – selfish – for parenting HER child.

Screen shot number four.

Screen shot number four. He meant to say, “if you are NOT willing to let the child be adopted.”

So here’s where things get “Are you kidding me?!” This is the bio father’s text message to Clara. Here’s what you need to remember. Clara did NOT give her contact information to Tom (the bio father). He attained this message through the adoptive parents somehow, most likely their attorney. As you’ll remember from the first text message, Becky was trying to convince Clara to give up her baby to protect the baby from Tom (bio dad). If Becky was truly concerned about the baby’s safety would she be giving out Clara’s contact information to Tom? Even if it was through a third-party such as her attorney? Of course not. This is, yet again, another tactic to scare Clara. This time with direct threats from the bio dad. When Becky’s text message didn’t work, and then her sister’s didn’t either, she now tried FORCE. Coercion and guilt wasn’t working, right? Let’s FORCE her hand into giving us her baby. Let’s scare her…even if it really does put the baby at risk. Who cares. We want what we want and we’ll do anything to get it.

This is the face of adoption. Expectant mothers heed this warning. The same people who are nice to you, that you feel “connected” to, that you LOVE SO MUCH, I would estimate 90% of them would turn into this if you changed your mind. They have one goal in mind – to get a baby. They are shameless and will stop at nothing to do it.

Dear Becky,

Go fuck yourself you entitled piece of shit.

Dear Becky’s sister,

Noneya.

Dear Tom,

Go ahead and try. I dare you.

Where does this leave Clara? Well, none of this is working on her, thank God. The ONLY thing Clara needs right now is her rent of $500 paid since she was not able to scrape that together being at the end of her pregnancy. We don’t usually ask for monetary donations straight up but, in this case, it is needed greatly. Her rent is due on the 1st. As of now we do NOT have tax exempt status so your donation would not be tax-deductible. However, if you would like to donate to the PayPal account that is being used to help Clara with rent next month (and if we get enough rent NEXT month as well) it would be greatly appreciated.

To donate to Clara please message Lynn Johansenn on facebook HERE.

What Clara is doing is #bravelove.

Adoption is #notabravelove

*Name changed to protect new mother